Aka Eena - Born February 24, 1994. Died October 24, 2002
She was always a wolf and I was her Wolf/Mother. I nursed her on a baby bottle from birth, along with her brother, Jocko, who died on March 31, 2000. We were "family," and she never bonded with the other wolves or dogs, except our tiny Yorkshire Terrier, "Munchy," who was here when she opened her eyes. While she tried to kill every other dog or wolf who happened by she loved Munchy and touched noses with him, giving him her love.
She is the last of my wolf pack and I knew she was leaving me. For two days before she left, she sang the most beautiful but mournful songs I've ever heard all day long. I even said to Rodney, "I wonder if she is telling me goodbye."
My heart is broken, but for a little while I was part of a family of wolves and I was loved by them and accepted by them because they knew I would never demand that they become anything but wolves. My Girl, Aka Eena, lies in a beautiful grave out back, next to "her deck" where she kept her watch over her Mother. I hope one day they will all be with me again. The predatory instinct will be gone and we will "live happily ever after."
Aka when she was a baby
How Do I know He's Alive
By Billie Marie Zal
From the night that I received the Lord Jesus Christ at Moody Bible Church in Chicago, I have never doubted that He is alive and real. And He knows me personally.
In the beginning days, He let me float on a cloud of Glory! I don't mean anything unusual, it was just a sense of having passed from death into life. I thought I would never, never "sin" again! I didn't want to sin. Why rebel against the only One who ever died for me? Who took my place? I owed Him my life, and I gladly gave it to Him.
But as I grew in the knowledge of the Lord (and we can grow or become stagnant), I began to see that each day is a day of "warfare". At first it is nothing big. Just a few shots here and there; a disappointment, a prayer that goes unanswered. Those are the small things.
But as we grow up, God in His love removes our security, begins to tear down the walls that we built around ourselves. And satan and his staff bring out the "big guns". This is the time that God separates the men from the boys.
I welcomed the battle, though I often trembled and wanted to run! I became aware of my "humanness". Sometimes we are led to believe that life after the new birth should be just one big happy holiday from sickness, poverty, and all the things that happen simply because we are HUMAN. But I didn't fall for that one. So from that moment on, I was "marked".
One of the things that should have made the disciples the most ashamed were His words to them: "THE WORLD CANNOT HATE YOU". What He was saying was, that if we are immersed in the world--even in the "religious" world--then we are most welcome in their crowd. My prayer was, "Lord, don't let me be welcome". And He answered that prayer.
But loneliness is one of the devil's chief weapons. We have the "herd instinct." Few people really LIKE to be alone. Especially if the aloneness is because we are following the path that Jesus laid out for us. But there is something about the anointing, the "call" of God. And we know that we will, with Him, tread the winepress alone," that is, if we love Him as we should.
We know He is alive, then, when we can walk alone, when we can suffer misunderstandings and rejections with our eyes on Him, and keep walking. We know He is alive when someone we love rejects us, and we won't fight back because if we are on the path He chose, did He not know what would happen? And did He not provide, by the power of his Holy Spirit, the ability to keep on loving and continue on the Way?
We know He is alive when we do not have one earthly or logical reason to trust Him. When the bank account is empty; when bills are past due; when the enormity of LIFE hits us square in the face. And we can say truthfully to Him, "even so, Father", no matter what He asks of us.
We know He is alive when we take time to look at His creation. The birds that He painted, the trees that live, and die, and live again. The flight of the geese, who are taught by Him to form the "V" formation pattern and make sure the weakest and the youngest are inside, to avoid the strong winds that buffet them. We know He is alive when we hear the first chirps of baby birds in a nest and watch the parents work ceaselessly to provide them the necessary food that enables them to "leave the nest" and take flight! (Humans should be so intelligent as birds!) We know He is alive when we hear the low, mournful howl of a wolf who has a song to sing and he sings it.
We know He is alive when summer nights are alive with the sound of all the night noises: insects, frogs, and who knows what else? Their song is one loud praise to the God who made them. We know He is alive when a baby is born. A baby that was once no larger than a tiny speck in its mothers's womb. Who, but God, could cause such a thing to happen?
We know He is alive when we see a smile from someone who has a "glow" and that glow fastens itself upon us and we are strong again. We know He is alive when someone who seemed impossibly lost is found, made whole, and becomes a "new creature in Christ Jesus". No logical explanation; just new.
We know He is alive when we have been mean, and He takes that meaness and gives us kindness in its place. An when we have been afraid, and He removes the fear and gives us assurance. And when we hate, He relieves us of that burden and give us love.
We know He is alive when all our lives we have been ambitious and suddenly, the success seems shabby and we turn our backs upon it and simply walk away. We know He is alive when the lusts of the flesh are dealt with. No one can make us leave them behind. We just do, if we love Him. He takes them and casts them away and never remembers them again!! We KNOW we are clean inside!
We know He isalive when we do not hoard or store up money that He gives only that we might give to others. We know He is alive when we are no longer stingy with ourselves. When it doesn't matter if we get enough rest, or we want to have "time" to ourselves. When we are so tired we decide we just cannot move and then someone comes along and needs His love. And we get up, shake off the weariness, and minister.
We know He is alive when we find ourselves irresistably drawn to a Love that transcends earthly things, and finds its treasure in Heaven. When in spite of the mystery of death, we are quite sure that we "shall never die" if we belong to Him.
We know He is alive when a friend reaches out with a token of love that brings sunshine to our hearts: and when that friend stands by us because He is real enough in us that they might trust us!
We know He is alive when the Raccoons come with their "bandit" faces; He has a sense of humor. And when a Mother Possum carries her young on her back until they are strong enough to walk alone!
We know He is alive when a loved one is taken and we must face the days ahead without that one who was so dear. The sorrow is never too much that He does not lift it and give us rest. And in the sorrow, we learn that truly, "He sticketh closer than a Brother".
We know He is alive when we can live with people and accept them with all their faults, because He has shown us our own faults. We are changed from critical, judgemental individuals into caring, loving people. No one but The Christ can do that. He is alive !!
We know He is alive when there is a "visitation" that comes quickly and unexpectedly. A vision, a dream, a touch like the hand of a friend just when we are the most needy. We know He is alive when the stars cover the dark canopy of His sky, and we know He knows them ALL BY NAME! We know He is alive because He is Truth. And He changes our hearts to make us live in Truth, too!
We know He is alive when we are discouraged and rightly so. Nothing ever happens to make us aware that someone out there knows we are alive. Our children forsake us. Our hopes are dashed to the ground. Our desires are never realized. Our valleys get deeper and longer. Yet He is alive and we do not give up. We overcome!
We know He is alive when all of our lives we have been afraid of the future, and suddenly the future is HERE and we are no longer afraid! He is alive and there is a quiet steadfastness of trust in our hearts. We know He will never leave us nor forsake us.
We know He is alive. The tomb is empty! The Resurrection morn is past. He promises us that He will come again and receive us unto Himself. Instinctively we know. And we wait!!
He is alive. We are alive. Death and hell have released their hold upon us. We are free. Free indeed!!
May God's Love be a reality. May His peace be yours. And may you know beyond any doubt that HE IS ALIVE!!
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